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This has been something I have struggled with my entire life. You
might think that it gets easier as you get older which in some respects it
has. Mostly because due to the number of mistakes I have made in the past
I would have to be a complete idiot not to learn from some of them. (no
comments please) My general rule of thumb is that I treat women co-workers like
they are sensitive men. I actually try and think of them as men so as not
to treat them differently. As you can imagine this does not always
work. Traveling for business also puts me in bad situations. I
travel alone with my current job but my last job was more team based travel and
implementations. This put me in a sticky situation with a female
co-worker when I booked the trip and I realized that it would be just me and
one female co-worker traveling alone. I spoke with my manager and asked
if we could bring a third party to keep things on the up and up. Another
female co-worker was invited as a technical resource and the trip went
forward. We were traveling to Sacramento and could save $400 per ticket
to fly into Oakland and drive up. This put us traveling through Napa
Valley so of course if you have read my previous blogs this called for a side
trip to a vineyard or two. If you have ever been (and if you haven't I
highly recommend it) Napa it is very romantic and fun. Since I was
traveling with the "guys" romance was out of the question but it was
still very fun. We stopped at the Coppala vineyard where I purchased a
$10 wine glass that included as many tastings as I wanted. One of my
travel partners was also sampling the wine out of this glass. When I got
home and showed my wife Beckie the glass that I purchased she of course noticed
that there was red lipstick on the glass. Boy that was fun to
explain. The good news was that I was never alone with anyone. This
protected me as well as my female co-workers.
With my current job I run into a similar situation when the churches project
manager is a woman. If we need to run to grab a bite to eat or meet for
coffee in the morning I always make sure there is a 3rd person with us. I
do this by telling them casually “I have a personal policy in place that
requires me to never be alone in a car or at dinner with a member of the
opposite sex.” The important part is that I get to use this as an excuse
so that they are not offended or wondering if they gave me the wrong
impression. It isn't me telling them I don't like them or that I don't
trust them, it is nothing personal, just policy.
What does this mean for the Christian business person? Am I saying that you should never ever be
alone with the opposite sex? No, that
just isn’t feasible. I do believe that
you should know your boundaries and keep yourself and your marriage
protected. For me that means setting
guidelines that I would want my wife to have if she traveled for work.